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Chris Fabry
Married to Andrea since 1982. We have 9 children together and none apart. Our dog's name is Tebow.
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Where We Are Now

After finding and remediating mold twice in our Colorado home, we abandoned ship in October 2008. Because of the high levels of exposure, our entire family was affected. After months of seeing different specialists for all of the problems, we came to Arizona to begin comprehensive treatment to rid our bodies of the toxic buildup. In August 2009 we moved into a larger home, four bedrooms, south of Tucson, north of Mexico. I am doing my daily radio program/ writing from that location. Thanks for praying for us. We really feel it.

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I gauge my spiritual health by what I allow to overwhelm me. Whether it's financial or relational or some work deadline imposed (or that I impose), whatever causes me to doubt and fear and tremble shows who I'm trusting in. It shows whether I'm looking down or up.

Yesterday I trembled. I was upset. Ticked off at the insurance company. Even though I pay them a lot each month, our HMO has continued to deny coverage for our family here in Arizona. (In fairness, they have paid a lot for us in the past few years.) We'll appeal again, of course, but this is not what I need to spend my time doing.

I have blood test bills, doctors bills, hospital bills, and the stack is getting bigger. The money we've spent on nebulizers and charcoal and creams and shampoos and Vitamin E and Fish Oil and all of the other bottles in our kitchen is just unbelievable.

But we push forward, keep doing the treatments, keep eating well and drinking mud, and after all of our striving I still have children with nosebleeds and unexplained rashes and chemical sensitivities. That overwhelms me. Their future overwhelms me. Whether we can help them or not overwhelms me. Where we will go if we find our current environment is not good for us overwhelms me.

I'm not whining here, and I'm not trying to get you to send a check. Many have done that, by the way. Many we don't even know, and we are grateful. I don't know what we would have done without those gifts. I thank God for people who have shown such great care and compassion.

However, as wonderful as those gifts are, my hope can't be in the generosity of friends. My hope is not in an insurance company. My hope is not in medication or supplements. My hope is not even in my children's health. Or my own. Or my wife's.

My hope, my trust, my future is wrapped up in the One who is much bigger than a stack of bills, much bigger than our illness, much bigger than a corporation, much bigger than my fears.

I know that in my head, but when I walk into our bedroom where six people are sleeping and trying to recover from the physical and emotional toll this has taken, I'm overwhelmed. And it's hard to watch. It's painful to walk through. Just writing about the reality of it helps frame the picture anew for me.

There's a verse I recall from the King James. It's in 1 Corinthians 4. "For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory..."

I'm pretty sure Paul wasn't talking about insurance companies and medical bills. I guess all of that fits with the category "light affliction." One day we will be able to look back on this event as something that happened that we wouldn't trade. It will do something to us and for us that we can't see from this valley filled with cactus and scrub brush. It may even be something that draws people to God.

I know all of this is true. I know this is His story, not ours. But if I am honest, I have to admit that I'm still overwhelmed.

6 comments:

Phil Hoover, Chicago said...

Chris,

As I was reading your post, I was thinking, "these light afflictions.." and lo, you even quoted the Apostle Paul (so great minds do think a like---you and Paul, that is).

I really don't know what to say, except Psalm 121 keeps coming to mind every time I think of your situation. I'd like to send a check also...if you will give me a mailing address.

Donnamo said...

Thanks for being honest, Chris.
I pray God will be the God of HOPE for you today. Remember the devil...he wants you to think this will never end, you will have to move, the ins. co won't pay etc...
but the good news is HE IS A LIAR!
I know you know that, but sometimes he is so effective we forget!

Remember who the enemy is and who is on your side!

Patrick said...

For what it's worth - you are greatly loved and admired by your many friends here. And you're doing an amazing job of bearing your cross and following your Lord.
Thank you for staying on course. So many of us need to see Christ alive and working in horrible situations. Sometimes we need to know, like Thomas, because we see it. Your scars and Christ's strength in you give us hope that He really is able.
You're learning in your experience what you already know in your gut. He is so faithful. He will never leave you. He never left Paul, Peter, or Stephen. You are His and He is yours. Nothing can defeat His victory.
We're still praying for you and trusting in His kindness and perfect love for you and you family.

Karen said...

Not trying to be picky here, but the verse is in II Corinthians not I Corinthians. I only knew that at a glance because II Corinthians 4:16-18 was a key passage of Scripture that I hung on to when my husband died at the age of 33 from a brain tumor. Our children were ages 1, 3, 5, and 7 at the time. We have literally said those verses so many times that they are forever stored in our hearts and keep us going when we're tempted to be overwhelmed by the temporary. I'll never forget the day when at the age of 4, Ben asked if his teddy bear, Cinnamon (which he dearly loved) was temporary. If little kids can distinguish between what's eternal and what's temporary, why do we have such a hard time. :)

august589 said...

Chris:

My family understands being overwhelmed, especially by insurance companies. Keep pushing forward and holding on to God's hand. You and your family will make it through this, somehow...

Anonymous said...

Hang in there. I am praying for you.
I am so sorry for what you are going through.