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Chris Fabry
Married to Andrea since 1982. We have 9 children together and none apart. Our dog's name is Tebow.
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After finding and remediating mold twice in our Colorado home, we abandoned ship in October 2008. Because of the high levels of exposure, our entire family was affected. After months of seeing different specialists for all of the problems, we came to Arizona to begin comprehensive treatment to rid our bodies of the toxic buildup. In August 2009 we moved into a larger home, four bedrooms, south of Tucson, north of Mexico. I am doing my daily radio program/ writing from that location. Thanks for praying for us. We really feel it.

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Wednesday, August 5, 2009
I have no doubt that there are people who are really upset right now and it’s my fault. Actually, it’s the fault of Bob Moeller who was on Chris Fabry Live today. Let me explain.

Bob and I talked about how to choose a person to date or court. Is your boyfriend a Boaz or a Bozo? Is your girlfriend a Ruth or a Ruse? That was the content and we had a good time discussing the qualities we should look for in the character of a prospective spouse.

At the end of the program, right as I concluded, Tricia McMillan said in my headphones, “We have a caller on the line you have to talk with.”

I know her name and where she was from, but I’ll make her anonymous. She said she had hit the scan button on her radio and came upon our conversation. She had never heard our program before. It was by “coincidence” that she tuned in.

She was in the parking lot of the airport waiting to pick up her fiancé. They’re getting married this Saturday. At least, they were before today’s program. She described her situation, the conflicted feelings she felt about her future husband, the good things about their relationship and the problems. In the end she had to admit that she just couldn’t go through with the wedding.

“But what about the family?” she said. “What about those plane tickets and all the money spent?”

As Bob said to her, many people get married to save face. They don’t want to upset people. And then they pay for their mistake in the following years. Bob and I encouraged her to do the difficult thing and live with the problems she will face in the next 48-72 hours. Much better to call a halt to this now and spend some time thinking, praying, and getting help for their relationship than just going through the motions. Sure, people will be mad and hurt and angry. But to ignore these facts (and I won't go into them) and feelings would be disastrous for her.

Pray for our friend who, moments after she hung up, had to meet her fiancé and talk about what she had just heard. Pray for the family that they will understand. Pray for the prospective groom who is going through such heartbreak and is probably wondering what yahoos on the radio turned his future wife against him.

It’s easy to make people mad in talk radio. Hosts do it every day. It’s much more difficult to listen to the hurts and give good advice that will lead to hope and healing. I pray that happens for our caller. I pray it happens for her fiance. And I pray that no matter what hard decision you face, there will be someone there who can walk and talk you through the problem.

Sometimes, it's as easy as hitting the "scan" button.

5 comments:

MiaZagora said...

You bad, bad radio host you! Don't you know radio hosts should only stick to politics or recipes or feeeeeeeeeelings and other foofy stuff - not actually give counsel from the Bible on how to live the Christian life.

Now go to your room and don't come out until you've read through "A New Earth" or some other nonsense at least three times!

(I missed the show today, but I'll bet it was a good one!)

Donnamo said...

I am 3/4 through June Bug and it is so awesome I don't want it to be over, Chris.

Have you got another book coming along???? I hope so.... I love your novels!

When are you all moving into the new house? I am praying all will go well.

jenna said...

Thank you, Bob and Chris, for counselling this young woman so wisely. As one who has watched people who have ignored brilliant red flags in their lives and ended up with horrificly crashed marriages, I am thrilled you had the courage to say the right thing. I always remember my dad telling me shortly before my wedding that he didn't care if it was ten minutes before I was supposed to walk down the aisle, he wanted me to feel safe backing out if I thought I needed to. In the long run, what is more important; saving face after all the money that has been sent or enabling another dysfunctional marriage to be launched. Yes, pride is bruised, but God will use this mightily in the life of the young woman and her former fiance if they let Him.

Joan Wester Anderson said...

Coincidence, nothing! God had his hand on this girl, and he sent you to do his work. How wonderful that you stepped out in faith and took the call instead of sidestepping an unknown situation. You are an angel.
(I know Bob and Cheryl so I'll give them a personal hug.)

Anonymous said...

It takes great courage to do both what you did in counseling this girl and great courage for this girl to follow through. May God continue to give all involved the courage and peace they need to get through this and move on, to see that God has another path for them.