The Flog – The Fabry Log

He was walking back from the lake with a fishing rod and a lure and two dogs running by his side. An inmate two years younger than me. He was 19 when he was sent to prison, so he’s spent more time inside than out. He was 19 when he committed some crime. Probalby took someone’s life. I didn’t ask.

“Catch anything?” That’s all I really wanted to know.

He shook his head. And from the look on his face, it didn’t seem that important.

Time moves slowly inside prison. The clouds roll lazily past. Time is like a mosquito, it’s always there buzzing in your ear but you can’t quite catch it, can’t quite squish it. And the mosquitoes are big in Louisiana.

One dog was named Sissy. It jumped on him and the other dog, wet from the early Sunday morning dew. He tried to corral Sissy, but there’s only so much you can do to a dog that is free to roam.

“What do you do here?” I said, knowing that each inmate has a trade they try to perfect.

“Welding. Right over there by that tractor is where I work every day.”

He told me about himself, where he was from. I asked if he had been at the Returning Hearts celebration. Another shake of the head.

“That dog right there,” he said, pointing at the smaller black dog with a collar, “he came here as a mutt. Just another dog. But he’s one of the best cow-dogs we have. Had no idea what he could do, but he just took to it.”

He was talking about the dog and talking about more, I suppose. He could have been a man out for a stroll on a Sunday morning. He could have been a fisherman just wandering for a good spot.

And as he walked away and the dogs followed, it struck me that you can’t lock up everything.

We live in a “What Happened Next Was Amazing” kind of world. This is the headline they put on videos to get us to ask, “I wonder what amazing thing happened to that journalist who laid down beside a sea otter?” Did the otter bite the man’s head off? Did it act like a dog and beg for a treat?

This happens every day. If I see one more “Amazing” thing, I’m not going to get anything done. What happened next, after this little boy stood on the railing beside the man-eating lion’s den, well, you’re just not going to believe how amazing this was!

We fall for the “amazing” because we want our lives to be “amazing.” We click because inside our hearts is a place that pulls us toward something we want for ourselves. We were just walking down the same road one day and POOF, something amazing happened that changed our lives and no one will believe.

But amazing usually doesn’t happen to us. We live from day to day without amazing. With the regular grind of life. And we then start to redefine amazing. “That was an amazing cup of coffee. That was an amazing boiled egg. Your dog is amazing, he chases his tail.”

I’m unwilling to redefine amazing to lift the mundane to extraordinary. But I’m also unwilling to chase after amazing as if it will fulfill my every hope and dream. Because what is really amazing is that we’re alive. We’re breathing on a planet filled with possibility and hurts and dreams and pain. And we have the ability to make a difference in someone’s life today. To speak truth and live love. And to let someone else do the same for us.

Stop watching someone else’s amazing. Click on your own.