The Flog – The Fabry Log

Life happens at the most curious times. The more you shop, the more you want to … live.

I heard that on the loudspeaker of the store this weekend where I went with my daughter. The more you shop, the more you… Then the name of the store. This particular store had “given us” $30 in free money.

Really?

Was that really free, or a reward for purchasing X amount previously? And then banking we’d never use it. I don’t know, but it brought us back on the last day to use the “free money” to buy a dress.

So there I was, outside the girl’s dressing room, milling around like a man without a country.

“Additional cashiers to the Misses register, please,” someone said over the intercom. There were quite a few people lined up down at the Misses register. At first I thought they were occupying the place.

Young women flitted in and out of the dressing room as I awaited my youngest daughter. The last little puppy to wear a dress has gone from princess to PRINCESS before my eyes. Just last week she was playing with Breyer horses and dolls. Now she’s singing Adele songs and is as tall as her mother.

“Additional cashiers to the Misses register, please,” the person said again, with an edge to her voice. It almost felt like, “The more you people shop, the more it stresses me out!”

Fashion jeans. Flip flops. Ear rings. And all that perfume. To a chemically sensitive dad, this is like entering a twilight zone I will never escape. But for her, and for the love of $30 worth of “free money,” we were here.

I wanted to go to the intercom and say, “There’s cake and ice cream for all employees over at the Misses register.”

My daughter emerged with the dress in her hand and a smile. “It fits!” she said.

“How much?” I said.

“It’s marked down from $58 to $33.”

“Well, let’s head over to the Misses register and see what all the fuss is about.”

We ambled over and there were only a handful of people ahead of us. A manager turned a light on above a register and shook her head.

It’s funny how much life you can see while waiting. And the pink dream with ruffles and frills was a mere $4.35.

What an investment.

The Countdown to the 7 days of Valentines has begun. It’s January 25th and I’ve wracked my brain for gifts. I made a purchase online and it came in the mail, but alas she opened it and saw what I had chosen.

Season 6 of the Mary Tyler Moore show, the one with the “Chuckles Bites the Dust” episode. She apologized and seemed pretty excited about the gift. Maybe she’ll forget it by the time February 8 rolls around.

If you don’t know this game, it was enacted several years ago when the kids were little. I do 7 days of Valentines because, to be honest, one day just has too much pressure. If I spread my choices out over 7 days, I show her I’m thinking of her, I know her, I’m working on knowing her better, and what woman doesn’t want that kind of thought put into a holiday cooked up by Big Chocolate and Big greeting card? Can you imagine how much money they rake in during February? I think there should be some kind of governmental commission looking into this.

But I digress.

Each day I print the number of the day—on February 8 it will be, “Day 1 of the 7 days of Valentines.” Then, on another sheet, I print a clue as to what the present might be. For example, if she hadn’t opened the video, I might have said, “This will bring a smile and maybe a chuckle.” She would never have guessed it, but there would have been a huge smile when she saw the video.

This year I have a file on my desktop “Andrea presents 2012.” I have a list of ideas, things I come up with during the day that may work, others won’t. Some are simple, a poem, a song, an idea for a video. These don’t cost anything but my time and thought and some effort by my children. Others are gifts I may purchase. Small things. Nothing extravagant, but all thoughtful.

If you’re looking for a good project this Valentine’s Day, 7 days wouldn’t be a bad idea. Be creative. Think. And see what happens in your own heart as you head toward February 14.

Two of the best words in the English language are: The End. I wrote those yesterday after an odyssey of several months. I began a story called Borders of the Heart on 8/24, but that’s not true. I started it long before that in my head without even knowing it.

The process of writing is mysterious. I’ve been asked a few times to teach a class or give a seminar and I’ve done it for elementary, middle and high school classes. The kids who were there seemed to get something out of it, but to be honest, I don’t know how to teach writing. I know rules of grammar. Most of them, anyway. The important ones. I’ve read many books on writing and plotting and dialog and telling a story well, but I don’t really comprehend it. So I’ve held back on teaching and concentrated on doing. Maybe one day I will try.

As I tell you I’ve ended one story, another is beginning. Writing is something one must do constantly if one is to fund one’s family. So as I end the process of this story, one I finished last year is coming to the stage. I’m very excited about the story of Truman Wiley. I think it’s going to change some lives because I believe we all have a Truman in our life. And in some ways, we’re Truman.

I’ll tell you more about him soon, but if you want to see a book trailer for the book that is releasing, click here and go down to the video on the right.

The book is called Not In The Heart. It’s probably the most exciting, painful, honest, true story I’ve written for adults. True in the sense of capturing characters that are struggling greatly with the people and circumstances of their lives. Okay, I’ll stop.

Is there something you’ve been allowed to do in life that you feel inadequate to teach? Keep doing it. Maybe one day you’ll write about it.

On our program of 12/9, I gave some thoughts about going home at Christmas as a Christian.

1. You were created by God as a unique human being. Don’t try to be Billy Graham, Ravi Zacharias, Josh McDowell, Erwin Lutzer or any other famous apologist.
2. You aren’t going to argue people into heaven.
3. Relax. It’s not all up to you. We each need to do our part, but ultimately the results are in God’s hands
4. GOING BACK AT CHRISTMAS IS AN ACT OF FAITH
5. Don’t be afraid to have fun at Christmas. Rejoice. Let your friends and family see that you have a life worth living.
6. You don’t have to be the holy spirit to your friends and family.
7. Questions are always better than statements.
8. Listen. Maybe this is the Christmas you really listen.
9. Jesus came into the mess of life. Don’t be afraid to go into the mess of your family.
10. Pray pray pray. What could happen to your gathering if you prayed for those individuals?
11. If someone makes a snide comment about your faith, don’t make it a big deal. Jesus said they would hate you because of him. Take it in stride and don’t make this about you.
12. What does love look like here?

On the night of his birth, love looked like a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.

When he was 12, love looked like submission to his mother and father.

When he was 30, love looked like being baptized and being in submission to the father.

Love sometimes drives out money changers.

It also touches lepers.

Love sometimes looks like weeping with others, as he did at Lazarus’ tomb.

Love sometimes looks like standing up to the religious zealots of the day who want to shackle people with their rules and regulations.

Love sometimes looks like forgiveness…for as they drove the nails in his feet and hands, he was forgiving them.

How will you be Jesus to those around you this Christmas?

But remember this: The success or failure of your trip back cannot be judged on the response of the people you’re trying to reach. Look at what happened to Jesus. In the limited perspective of humans, it looked like he failed many times. People ran him out of town, threw him out of the synagogue for his teaching. Crucified him. From the human standpoint people would consider that utter failure, but in God's economy, it was perfection. Jesus perfectly fulfilled God's plans--and when you follow his lead, it won't always seem like success.

Well, I’m praying you’ll have a Nicodemus moment with a friend or family member. But if you don’t have one, don’t be discouraged. Be faithful in what God asks you to do. And LEAVE the results up to him.

I don’t see a demon behind every rock or bush. But I am aware that we are living behind enemy lines. And the enemy does not want a message of hope and freedom to gain any traction.

Tuesday, after the program, I wasn’t feeling well and decided to take a nap. About six hours later I finally got up because I HAD TO GET UP, if you know what I mean. A flu bug, food poisoning—I don’t know, but I had little strength to get out of bed and go to work.

Which caused me to think of how fragile we really are. As Rich Mullins sang, we are not as strong as we think we are. Bacteria can fell us. We are weak, vulnerable creatures at best.

Others in the family faced trials. Last night, Andrea despaired. She’s worked so hard and feels like there’s very little to show for all that work.
That’s when I put things together. Despair can sometimes signal an attack. It makes you want to stop, retreat, or just give up. But an attack means you’re on to something good. An attack means you’re beating back the enemy of our souls.

Perhaps it’s because I’ve been talking about marriage and trying to give hope to those who have little. Yesterday, I spoke with Janet Parshall about the book, A Marriage Carol, and a woman named Chris called in tears, her marriage in tatters. She can’t trust her husband any longer because of a Facebook romance. How does she move forward?

I’m not sure I gave a good answer, but I spoke from the heart. I tried to point her to the one who is in the restoration business. The one who calls the dead back to life. Pray for Chris and her husband. Pray for those around you who are struggling with their marriages, especially church leaders. They are surely under attack.

I’m still not at full strength. Haven’t eaten anything in two days and have no desire to eat anything for the rest of my life. But I probably will because I know I need my strength to do whatever God calls me to do. May he give us the grace to live behind enemy lines today.

What’s the best Christmas present you can give your kids this year? In iPad? An e-reader?

The other day in the car, Colin asked if we could get a bigger Christmas tree. The one we chose is puny, evidently. I think he wants more room for presents.

That caused me to think about what I really want to give them. I love giving toys, trinkets, gadgets, and giz. I love giving books and gift cards and musical instruments. I love the feeling of watching them open a present and seeing the recognition on their faces that someone knows them, sees inside their souls well enough to get that DVD or pair of woolen socks.

But the truth is, the greatest gift I can give my children can’t be placed under a tree, no matter how big it is. The greatest gift I can give my family is a commitment to my marriage and the fortitude to work on that relationship no matter what.

On the cover of the book, A Marriage Carol, there is a Christmas wreath. And below that, the door knocker is in the shape of an engagement ring. These circles represent something that will last, something that has no end. The contents of the book, we hope, will encourage couples to continue the struggle, continue to fight for their marriage even if things seem bleak.

If your relationship is frosty, cold, or almost dead, all the trinkets, toys, and gadgets in the world will not make your kids happy. Their real happiness comes in the security they feel with two parents who are committed enough to each other not to quit, but to humble themselves and go to work.

If you’re married, give the gift that will keep giving to your children, your friends, everyone around you, and also yourself. Give the gift of commitment.

No wrapping paper or bow needed.