The Flog – The Fabry Log

Andrea and I record a program each week with Dr. Gary Chapman who wrote The Five Love Languages. He's not only a NY Times bestselling author, he's also a great speaker on the radio, and he's kind and compassionate, always asking about our situation with the house, always offering to help in tangible ways. I don't think we could have a better friend in North Carolina.

We've recorded programs through December and the first topic we're hitting in January is "Couples in Crisis." The best writing advice is "write what you know," and it's the same with radio. Talk about what you know, what you're experiencing. So we'll record with him tomorrow and talk about some of the stuff we've been through in the past 18 months.

One thing we're accustomed to at this time of year, is disappointment. Our anniversary is a week before Christmas. It seemed like a good idea at the time. Last year, we had one child just out of the hospital and several others at varying stages of illness. We got everything set and for our anniversary thought, "We'll just have one meal together, alone, at a restaurant."

About a mile from the restaurant the phone rang and we turned around and went back home. It was disappointing. But the really great thing about this whole experience has been that we haven't let the crushing weight of what has come against us rip us apart. I'm not saying we agree about everything and I'm certainly not saying we don't argue. But our main goal here is survival and helping the children get well again, and when you come together for that kind of goal, it's hard to be torn apart. Not saying it can't happen, but by God's grace, we've been unified.

Maybe your family is going through some kind of crisis this year. Maybe even having a tree in the house and twinkling lights is the last thing you could imagine at this point. Don't give up hope and don't let the circumstances rip you and those you love apart.

Laughter helps, and I'm prone to more of it and she is prone to less. But I think she'd admit that my ability to smile through the misery has helped a bit. And her ability to tenaciously hang onto information and follow procedures has helped me tremendously.

The main glue to all of this is our relationship with God. If it weren't for that, I'd have plunged over the cliff long ago. For some reason, and I believe there is a purpose behind all this, God has allowed us to walk through this valley. Most of the time we've been carried. Allowing him to carry us through crisis is the best way to come out the other side whole.

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