The Flog – The Fabry Log

I’ve been doing call-in talk radio for more than 20 years. I’ve never had to use the delay or “dump” button. Callers have, for the most part, been considerate, compassionate, and kind. Some have been upset, angry, and agitated, but have always conducted themselves with respect and a sense of decorum.

That changed yesterday on my program, Chris Fabry Live. A man called to tell a story that I thought illustrated the topic of the show. The story turned out to be gross and profane.

I was shocked. All of those working behind the scenes were shocked. So much so that I wasn’t able to give the cue in time to dump the content of the call.

Earlier in the hour I said that I felt two words rising to the surface of my life in the past few days. The first was opposition. The second was kindness. I mentioned this long before we took that call.

Opposition comes in many forms. An opposing force can defeat your, bowl you over, or make you stronger for the fight. Opposition seeks to disarm you and defeat you. The caller represented this opposing force well.

After the call I tried to simply move on with the program, not knowing exactly what was on the air and what wasn’t. It was clear after a few minutes that people did hear the offending remark and I felt like I had to say something about it.

In the closing moments, a lot of people ran through my mind. The mom driving her kids home from school. The dad doing the same. The elderly woman who listens every day for encouragement. The station managers who trust us to protect their listeners from such outrageous and offensive material.

And then I thought of that man. He sounded young. He sounded nervous. What happened in his life to make him think this would be funny? Is he angry with the church for some reason? Is he angry at God? Does he even believe God exists? When I began to think of him, instead of anger and vitriol, I felt very sad for him. And I tried to be kind. And many of our listeners wrote and mentioned this—that the offensive, crude and undignified remarks were handled in a way that treated the caller as a person who needed God’s grace. Who am I to withhold grace when I’ve received so much of it?

So if you think of the gentleman who called and start getting angry, pray for him. Pray that God’s grace and mercy will overwhelm him and that he will become a trophy of that grace.

I love talking with people who want to follow God with a whole heart. But it's painful to hear their stories and know how hard their lives are. Following God doesn't mean you won't get thrown to the lions. Obeying him fully won't keep you from imprisonment or crucifixion.

But you'll never regret obeying him, no matter how hard life gets.

Norma called yesterday. She's been living with a man for nine years. They have a child together. She became a Christian not long ago. Lately she's had this feeling that her relationship with this man isn't the best. He's a good guy, but he's not interested in God. And they're not married.

She went to a church and was counseled by a pastor. It's no big deal.

But that still, small voice is telling her there's something off, something not right.

I encouraged her to listen to that voice and surround herself with some people who want to help her obey God. I also encouraged her to separate from that live-in relationship.

I do not think this is going to be easy. Her heart is entangled with this man. Her child has a father and some would say it would be foolish to give that up. But I believe Norma has something better in front of her. And I have the faith to believe that this man who isn't interested in knowing God might consider eternal truths in a crisis like this.

But you can't manipulate people into the Kingdom. You can't cajole or finagle the grace of God. Norma's job, and yours, and mine, is to obey what God says because ultimately He has the best interests of Norma, her child, and the man she is living with at heart.

Say a prayer for Norma today. Say a prayer for her friend. For her child. Ask God to bring around her people who will care for all three of them through what will no doubt be one of the most difficult times of their lives.

And while you're praying, ask God to look in your own heart and point out something you need to obey, some way you need to follow more closely. He has a way of doing hard things that lead to good for his children.

I was umpiring in the field at a Little League game recently. The season was winding down and I finally took the plunge to see if I could keep up with the intricacies of calling runners out at 1st and 2nd.

Umpiring is not easy, especially when you have critics on both sides of the fence. But you can’t let the possibility of making a bad call keep you from making any call. That’s my motto.

I was standing behind the first baseman from the other team. His hair was long and unevenly cut under his cap. He had the look of a scared deer who had been running from hunters all season and was just tired.

“Are you having fun?” I said before play resumed.

He gave me a look, sort of a modified eye roll, then a grin. “Not really.”

If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a thousand times, kids are supposed to have fun. It’s a learning experience. It’s all about enjoying the game and discovering yourself and blah blah blah. This kid had cracked the code. He knew it wasn’t about having fun and learning. It was about winning. It was about not making a mistake.

“Why aren't you having fun?” I said, probing a little further.

He put his hands on his knees and spoke to the dirt. “Because our coach yells at us all day.”

That does tend to take some of the fun out of it. I looked at his coach—there were two. Judging from my interaction with them, they didn’t think umpiring was about having fun or learning either.

“Well, you guys have gotten a lot better over this season,” I said, trying to encourage him or say something he hadn’t heard from his coach. “I’ve seen a lot of progress.”

First base didn’t say anything.

On the next pitch, a ground ball came to the infield. The throw was a little off-target and first base couldn’t stop it. From the dugout came a yell, instructions that sounded like they’d been given before, mixed with derision.

The pitcher got the ball, looked at the runner and climbed on the mound. The coach's words hung over the field like a cloud.

“I see what you mean,” I said to First Base.

He didn’t look at me, but I saw him smile.

A couple of months ago I was on a radio program with another host. He said he was thinking about making the leap to Christian radio. His email to me today excitedly (and he was a little scared) said, "I'm finally taking the plunge. Any advice?"

Here's what I said:
So glad to hear you’re taking the leap. Yes, it’s scary, but the best things in life are hard. And this will be hard, but good.

I try not to give too much advice, but since you asked:

1. Be yourself. Don’t try to be Rush or Beck or anybody else. God uniquely created you. Glorify him with who you are.

2. Talk about what brings out your passion. If you deal with things you don’t care about, the listeners will know.

3. Avoid the gripe fest. People like talk radio because they feel like they can vent. Venting lets a lot off, but Christian radio is different. Always have a point to the venting, a place you’re taking listeners that redeems the rant. Obviously, this takes us back to the Scriptures.

4. Don’t lean on guests for everything. You could do all 3 hours every day with nothing but authors. Avoid that trap. Spend time with your listeners and tap into their perspectives.

5. Figure out now what success is. Is it ratings? Is it phone calls? For me, success is connection and can only be seen in the rearview, as you hear from people who will thank you for talking about things they relate to.

6. In the middle of all of your prep and stress and strain about 3 hours a day, the best thing you can do is cultivate your relationship with God.


That's my advice. What would you add?