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- Chris Fabry
- Married to Andrea since 1982. We have 9 children together and none apart. Our dog's name is Tebow.
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After finding and remediating mold twice in our Colorado home, we abandoned ship in October 2008. Because of the high levels of exposure, our entire family was affected. After months of seeing different specialists for all of the problems, we came to Arizona to begin comprehensive treatment to rid our bodies of the toxic buildup. In August 2009 we moved into a larger home, four bedrooms, south of Tucson, north of Mexico. I am doing my daily radio program/ writing from that location. Thanks for praying for us. We really feel it.
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Friday, January 9, 2009
1· Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
2· Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you are refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
3· Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house. Gather up the books, toys, and newspapers. Dust the tables so that they appear clean. Your husband will feel that he has reached his haven of rest and order. Doing this for him will give you a lift also.
4· Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash their faces and hands. Comb their hair and change their clothes if it is necessary to make them look presentable to him. They are “God’s Creatures” and your husband would like to see them playing their part.
5· Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all the noises of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, and vacuum. You’ve had plenty of time to do these things during the day. Don’t do them now. Encourage your children to be quiet. Be happy to see your husband. Greet him with a warm smile.
6· Do not greet your husband with problems or complaints.Don’t complain when he is late for dinner. Count this as minor when compared to what he had to go through today.
7· Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down for a few minutes in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
8· Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him speak first.
9· Make the evening his.He is special! Never complain that he does not take you out to dinner or to other pleasant entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to unwind and relax. Remember that you relaxed all day waiting for his return. Now it’s his turn to enjoy what you enjoyed. Try to make his home a place of peace and order, a place where your husband can relax in body and spirit.
2· Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you are refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
3· Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house. Gather up the books, toys, and newspapers. Dust the tables so that they appear clean. Your husband will feel that he has reached his haven of rest and order. Doing this for him will give you a lift also.
4· Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash their faces and hands. Comb their hair and change their clothes if it is necessary to make them look presentable to him. They are “God’s Creatures” and your husband would like to see them playing their part.
5· Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all the noises of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, and vacuum. You’ve had plenty of time to do these things during the day. Don’t do them now. Encourage your children to be quiet. Be happy to see your husband. Greet him with a warm smile.
6· Do not greet your husband with problems or complaints.Don’t complain when he is late for dinner. Count this as minor when compared to what he had to go through today.
7· Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest that he lie down for a few minutes in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
8· Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him speak first.
9· Make the evening his.He is special! Never complain that he does not take you out to dinner or to other pleasant entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to unwind and relax. Remember that you relaxed all day waiting for his return. Now it’s his turn to enjoy what you enjoyed. Try to make his home a place of peace and order, a place where your husband can relax in body and spirit.
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6 comments:
I don't think this is too corny. Most is a gracious attempt to put "my life for yours" principal into some practical way of love. It is nice to know that love and kindness was and still is the aim of making a home.
CA Western Colorado
I may go in to work tomorrow just so I can listen on-line to today's show! I hope you had lots of fun with the topic!
Ron should be home from work in 15 minutes, so I guess I'd better get a ribbon in my hair, freshen up my make-up, and get dinner going!
Boy oh Boy! I read this and started to grow very frustrated. It's a good thing I looked on www.chrisfabrylive.com to get some context. How life has changed in the last 60 years! Andrew particular liked the part where it says let the husband rest as you have rested all day. (He was secretly giggling when I read it to him). That's not exactly how I see it!
I think the "worst part" about this article, which I've seen before and think it's a hoot (and you said you wouldn't laugh while reading it!) is the apparent lack of understand of what a woman's day involves -- that anyone would think a normal day is a chance to relax all day truly has never been at home with kids all day. (Though I doubt, at the time this was written, many moms had their kids at home.) Still, the philosophy of putting your spouse ahead of yourself is laudable. Didn't Christ give himself up for us? And aren't husbands commanded to give themselves up for their wives? (Surely God's intention was not that women could be completely selfish while their husbands gave up everything!) If only we all were more "other-minded," our marriages, family relationsips, yes, all relationships, would truly be what God desires them to be. Without getting too hung up on the particulars of this article, we should be challenged to go out of our way to serve and minister to our spouses.
I loved how you laughed most of the way through reading the list; I was laughing as well.
My first thought was, "Are you kidding me?" I worked in corporate America for 15 years before having my first child at age 39. While I love being a wife and mom, it was much easier to work 60 hour work weeks. At least at the end of 60 hours my job was done!
My in-laws subscribe whole-heartedly to this philosophy and raised their son, my husband, to believe this. They can even cite scriptural references for it. My father-in-law retired 30 years ago at age 55. He gets to read and work in the garden. My mother-in-law is still doing all of the cleaning, cooking, laundry, shopping, and the scheduling of doctor's appointments. We (the daughters-in-law) would like her to be able to retire as well.
The above paragraphs were written last night. Today, I have cleaned out files to get ready for taxes, done 8 loads of laundry, fixed two meals and started the third, cleaned the kitchen, put a toy together, cleaned the bathroom, and swept the floor. Husband has gotten the snow blower out twice to clear the driveway. And the devil has had control of my thoughts and fuled anger and resentment.
So I will go confess, pray,and submit my will to Christ so that I may love and serve with a "Mary heart in [this] Martha world."
Thank you for your show. Even when it creates a battle, you still lead us closer to Christ.
MLR, Chicago listener
Okay, I finally got to listen to Friday's program. I loved the way you cracked up as you read some of the items. When I first read through the e-mail, I was reading some of the items out loud to a friend, which made it so much more fun. When I read about washing your children's faces, we joked about her chasing her 10th grade son through the house with a washcloth.
So often, when I get home from work, the first thing I do is ditch the "work clothes" and get into something comfortable (sweat pants and a sweatshirt in the winter, shorts and a t-shirt in the summer). The jewelry gets put away, the hair goes up in a messy ponytail... On those hectic days when I don't have a chance to change, I often hear "Oh, you look nice." The e-mail made me think about what a small sacrifice it would be to stay "gussied up" for an extra hour and a half once in a while, just because my husband likes to see me that way.
I loved the comment at the end, about being such a great wife that if your husband looked around, he wouldn't be able to find a replacement!
I guess it all boils down to "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Each of us should treat our spouse the way that we would want to be treated.